Guilt.

I wish I had jumped into the ocean after you instead of turning for colder climes, I feel like I could have saved a small bit of something that I abandoned
And truth be told I wanted to see that swirling green pool above me and that small perspective and understand our insignificance.
By the ocean can only pour from the blue of me that nearly matches you.
Don't worry about the burning in your eyes, you need to get some salt in those wounded portals every once in a while, but I'll be there to lick to sea from your cracked lips and tangle my arms in the weeds around yours and pretend like it's not too late to keep you warm.

February 13, 2008, the last of the old poems.

Please don’t Purge.

My heart if full and ripe.
To be plucked and swallowed
whole like a Forbidden Fruit of Eden
That knows better and is begging you not to
While giving you the eyes of woebegone lust.

--------------


Prize.

Startled in the darkness, I caught site of a beauty
I never thought to see. I held it in my heart
like a private memory,
of a childhood promise I never had.

-------------


Her body was a nanny and her soul was a baby in need of shaking
Antyhing to make the screaming stop

You left a junkie on the floor a few nights ago
like old clothes, threaded with track marks
Sewn by needle for a fix.

Crumpled body like tissue in a waste basket.
Not with grace or rage;
complete apathy.

Lying catatonic, I think she prefers it that way.
----------
Feargasm

I like to be terrified, it's a passion of mine
It makes me feel so young
Struck still by utter fear
Desperately wanting something you to grab me in the night.

Brett's music makes me want to stitch words.

Burn with the melody and flicker
like the words on the tip of your tongue
crisp and sedating and thickening
with each falling nod of your head
Love like giving in
to a disentegrating disenchantment
of a curse to your nervous system
that feels more like a blessing.
Blisfful and still alight
with a multicolored flame of your psyche
and maybe someday you can sit back and be happy in some place other than dreams.