January 21, 2008 - Monday

2:04 PM - A Faint Moment.

Break your back brain trying to sabotage the pattern recognition machine
running in your mind on a diet of paranoia and adrenaline.
Anxiety like a plastic shell coating your arms and extremities.
Eyes like clocks ticking from side to side
Above your Cheshire cat smile
False like the feeling in your spine
Converting your shocking steps into light buoyancy.
The light in the corner of your eye blinks
with mad pulsating intentions and calls your sanity into question.
Grip the table edge harder and realize swallowing
won't grind away the numbing of your throat.

January 7, 2008 - Monday

1:59 AM - I have no skeletons in my closet, just zombies.

I can feel so painfully out of touch when I am haunting my own house
And all these people may be dead to me
But I still see their corpses rotting on my bedroom floor
What scares me the most are the still twitching bodies in the armour
Comprised entirely of people I miss
Bulging against the wood grain and repeating my name
I have no skeletons in my closet, just zombies.
I save the bones for the dresser drawers I never open.

January 6, 2008 - Sunday

11:18 PM - When it hits you that you aren’t human.

The sharp rise in temperature causes me to shiver
And it's times like this I wonder if I'm the Devil
It takes two cracked steps to draw in just that one breath
And a shaky recourse for an exhale
Gritting your teeth won't mask the sound of your brain disintegrating
And you can try and peel off that layer of skin
If you can just get under your own alabaster shell
You're scared of the lack of color you may find
Pray your organs aren't as bloodless as your complexion
A funnel of nothing went in my throat
And filled me with a weight sound couldn't travel through
There goes the heartbeat and here comes the silence of my personality
My vocal chords knot like a noose around my neck
But I realize I had nothing to say anyway.

January 22, 2008 - Tuesday

1:14 AM - Winter Mournings.

We are painting pictures of the sun like we'll never see it again
And holding on to the hope in our chests like a light on guard from the cold.
Wind chapped hearts float papery words from parched lips
Like lovers in bed with Laryngitis having dry and unsatisfying sex
Apocalypse blinding grey cloudless nuclear holocaust sky

And this is my tail stuttering in fear.

I like to dream of you
Waking up sweating like I do,
Mouth dry and heart raw,
Pleading like a magnet for
All the iron in your blood,
Sliding like a tide,
Only few hundred miles
To make up for the lack of mine.
I'm anemic in my dreams,
And you are finally ready to rescue me.
Despite the blinding headlights and blinding fevers,
You can drive as fast as you want if all the roads lead here.

Have you ever felt it like a physical burning rollercoasting pain?

Sour and fucked, what is this granny smith in my chest?
And where did my blood pumping organ pumps itself off to?
It forgets it's kind of vital for when I want to function best.
It probably left and ran bouncing after you.
And now there's a mouth puckering sucker
in a cavity
meant for an alkaline entity
burning (is it heart burn?)
and reminding me how my heart will never learn.
It has to move on its own
and not suck my chest in like the tissues were soft like my cheeks.